Mahina, 42, is hosted at the Pu o te Hau centre with her 11-year-old daughter.

I had heard about this centre but I knew there weren’t many places, so I waited until the day when the person in charge called me to join the centre. I said to my daughter: “Wow, that’s a great relief, we’ll be safe there”. That’s what I wanted: to find calm, peace above all.
In Tahitian the name Pu O Te Hau means a haven of peace. This place is really a haven of peace, the bars on the windows protect us and all the people are benevolent, that’s what I felt the first day.

It was like forgetting all the bad things that happened to us.

The trigger was when I heard my daughter screaming “no you’re not going to die mom, it has to stop and think about me mom. I’m here and I love you very much mom”.

A month ago, I almost died under the blows of my tané. In my head, it still hurts too much to tell you the whole story, but I understood that I had to protect my 11-year-old child. She has already changed a lot since we arrived three days ago.

My daughter is great. She’s the one who put all our things in the room. I didn’t do anything because I was still in my bubble of pain. She said: “you’re tired. Go to sleep, mom. You need it.” It was like she was watching over me, protecting me. It’s like she’s the mother and I’m the little girl, but I’m not going to give up my role as a mother because we both need to stick together.

This centre is also an opportunity because in these situations, it is better to withdraw from one’s family and go to a centre to find oneself, to refocus, especially to rebuild oneself. I don’t regret being here, I think I made the right choice.

It’s true that when you arrive in the centre, the family is already destroyed. But we have to move forward.

Going back for me is not possible, you have to move forward, live as a battered woman and accept everything that has happened to us. But rebuilding ourselves, it will take a long time… a long time.

With other women, you get a new taste for life. When we laugh, there’s really this joy that springs up between us. There’s tranquility and peace between us. What you hear in every room, because every battered woman, or a woman who has suffered a lot of violence, needs peace and silence to rebuild herself.

And then the fact that we practice a lot of activities, allows us to get away from it all, like cooking and sewing. It’s a moment of sharing, of mutual help with our children and we forget about everything else. These activities allow you to move forward and chase bad ideas out of your head.

You feel really calm, quiet, strong and you have more confidence in yourself.

For me, the goal is really to go all the way, for example, with my complaint. And
the social workers give me courage and remind me what to do: “Careful, there’s this, there’s that. Don’t forget this.” They give me reminders every time, and that’s a good thing. You know you can lay your head on them.

The team is here to help us move forward, to help us live better and forget all the pain that’s inside of us.

For sure we’ll never forget what happened to us, we want to forget all the pain that’s buried in us but it will take a long time. At each session with the psychologist, there’s crying, a lot of things come to the surface and it’s very, very painful. But we have to regain this confidence, and keep this courage as a woman to be able to move forward and live another life.

I know that we won’t have a normal life like other women, but we’re going to rebuild another one thanks to the centre. That’s why I feel good there. I have a lot of projects, I think especially about my child. It’s an ideal place for every battered woman who can be helped and accompanied by professionals.

If this place could welcome even more women, it would be great because they are often rejected by their families. And here they can rebuild themselves and it’s a new beginning.

Next in episode 5 : Titaua Peu, the awakening of Polynesian women

Photo credit : Danee Hazama

Supported by Air Tahiti Nui

Anne Pastor