I had to keep it because there is a Rwandan proverb that says, “Even if a cow gives birth to a rotten calf, she licks it”.
It’s a quest in the name of dignity for all those children born of rape. These children called “gift of misfortune” are said to be between two and three thousand. Relationships were very difficult for Vestine and her daughter Ancille until the day Vestine came to the Abiyubaka forum for women who have children born of rape. She was finally able to reveal the truth about her conception to her daughter. Little by little, they were able to weave a filial bond, a bond of love, because life is stronger than savagery.
Here is her testimony.
“My name is Mukasekuru Vestine…
First, you’re going to see my wounds. On my leg are the scars of the machete blows received by the so-called father of my daughter who killed my parents before my eyes while I was pregnant with him. I was the eldest of the family and this wound remains in me.
The second injury to this day is that I am a problem in my family. I am considered an irreconcilable enemy.
There is a very bad understanding between us and especially with my sister. They don’t accept this child.
My daughter Ancille was born in 1995 and I told her the truth about her origin when she was over 10 years old in 2007.
Before I received advice from Sevota, there was a lot of domestic violence. Even after the rape I was beaten and I received a lot of beatings because of this child. I even hid her and when my family would come, they would look for her and if they couldn’t find her they would beat me.
It was difficult, I didn’t love her and all I saw was the image of her genocidal father. I considered her like other people. There was so much hatred towards her that all the families hated her. She too has wounds. These black scratches on her body were the result of her aunt trampling on her and threatening to cut her up and throw her in the river if she went over the edge.
But I hadn’t yet received the advice to love and welcome him. I didn’t think that I would be able to find such an attentive and benevolent listening ear. I remember the first meetings, we started by crying and crying again and at the end when we had no more crying, they were there to console and help us. We were no longer afraid to express ourselves. And when they saw the wounds from the beating of that child SEVOTA did an important job, that child had the bad blood of her father, she insulted me, she threw stones at me and when I came back I called her a bad race, yes I called her a ‘militiaman’.
That is why I give great consideration to the work of the SEVOTA organization. It brought us together in 2006 and showed us how we should love our children like other children and made us understand that they were not the cause of our misfortune. We even made up a song to tell them that they are beautiful.
Then they advised us to tell the children the truth, that the situation had changed. The children understood and began to love us. And I finally accepted it and when someone told me that it was the fruit of sin, I would tell them that it was no longer sin.
Today, I’m very proud of her, she even went to university.”
Photograph © Chris Schwagga
In the next episode: the gifts of misfortune
Anne Pastor
