“I was subjected to forced marriage. And it is with him that I live today. I was 21 during the genocide.”

This is her story.

“My name is Nitwa Mukakabera Christine. When I meet Mother Godelieve, she gives me advice and it calms me down. Today I told her about the anguish caused by the genocide and she told me what I should do to get out of it. And when I’m at home and something disturbs me, I try to do the exercises, even if it’s any way, but I do it.

It allows me to get back to life.

The anguish I often have is when I remember I was kidnapped by a man during the genocide, it’s that anguish that often comes back to me when someone hurts me.

My husband married me by force, because we didn’t know each other. And when he saw me, it was to protect me that he married me. But first he spotted me, he sent men by force, to whom he gave money to come and get me. But I didn’t want to, because I felt bad. I was still a virgin and I didn’t want to die in sin. But at the same time a man took my hand by force and started to hit me. This man and the whole group forcibly pulled me away and took me to this man. And I stayed with that man until the situation calmed down. I was 21 and a half years old.

Then he knelt down in front of me, and he asked me to forgive him. He said it was okay to continue living together. He continued to calm me down and told me that he would always be with me and that he would continue to protect me. Then I started to feel at peace. But my family and brothers came to get me back and my husband begged them to leave me here.

At times I considered leaving my husband, but I didn’t even consider finding another husband. I felt like a crazy person.

We’re still together and we have six children.

It was difficult to tell them what happened, it was when I joined the Sevota association that I had the courage to tell them because I felt surrounded. But it was hard to face this memory. But then they wanted revenge.

They even wanted to eliminate their father and look for their paternal uncles and all the people suspected of having hurt their mother to get revenge.

Then I tried to pull myself together and understand my situation. I gathered all my strength and luckily SEVOTA helped me convince my children to participate in its therapeutic programs. They have been taught enough and now they are overcoming this trauma. They understood that their father was not the cause of my misfortunes. And today they are beautiful children.

My trauma is diminishing and little by little I have found peace. But I’m still under the care of the therapists.

I have forgiven. I’ve forgiven all those who were after me and the families.

I have tried to overcome all this, and today all I care about is fulfilling myself. Grow in life, do self-development exercises. I have to take care of myself and try to forget everything that happened.

These meetings help me a lot to have joy. Sevota has helped us regain a taste for life. Sevota helps us a lot, thanks to grandmother Godelieve. We receive help and Sevota has helped us to leave a mediocre life. I found the taste of life again. Today we live off the land, we cultivate and we live off the crops.

In the village, I used to be frowned upon, they would isolate us, they would move away from us, even I would move away from them and they would tell me that I was from a bad ethnic group.

Now that we have forgiven, they support us, we live together in perfect harmony. And I have a big family too with Sevota. They visit me. My neighbours also think that I am a person like the others, that I have other families and I am considered. It took a long time.

In the end, we are an exceptional couple. Because before we didn’t get along. But now we get along very well and we have built a family.

It was a really big fight, but we made it.”

Photograph © Chris Schwagga

In the next episode, the story of Vestine and her daughter Ancille

Anne Pastor