It is a quest in the name of dignity for all those children born of rape. These children, called the “gift of misfortune”, are said to be between two and three thousand. They are now 25 years old and have no choice but to live with this poisonous legacy. How can one grow up when one is, in spite of oneself, the living reminder of barbarity? Relationships were very difficult until the day when Ancille went to the therapeutic course and to the “Club de la Paix”, a support group that the women of Sevota created for these children. She finally put words to her suffering and was able to exorcise, in part, her ghosts. Little by little, they were able to weave a filial bond, a bond of love, because life is stronger than savagery.
Here is the testimony of Ancille, Vestine’s daughter.
My mom used to insult me and tell me that I had a genocidal father
When I heard I was a genocidaire, I was angry and I was mean. I hit her with all my might. That’s how I lived. On top of that I was told that she was a bad person. I blamed my mother for all my wickedness. I remember, when I went to fetch water, my dad’s family members would tell me: “Your mum is bad, she hates you, you should abandon her and come and live with us”. I’d come back and ask my mom, “Is it true you’re bad, I have to leave you and go live with people who are not bad?” I’d end up believing them and become even meaner. And I’d beat her.
But when she told me her story, it soothed me. I felt close to her. I began to understand her and when she asked me to do something, I did it with love and joy. I said to myself, “When I come back my mother won’t tell me I’m a militiaman anymore.
It is also thanks to Mama Godelieve, it is she who reconciled us, she encouraged me to understand. And when my mother revealed to me the truth about my origin, we were together. She encouraged me to bond with my mother. She’s like my grandmother and still advises me today.
Every 5th of every month we meet and once a year on November 19, all the children get together. It is important this time of exchange and sharing.
Today, if someone says bad things about my mother, it doesn’t affect me. If they say that I was born of a genocidaire or that I was born of anything … even a tree or whatever, it doesn’t affect me at all.
I’d like to thank my mom for raising me. Thanks to the good education I received, I was able to go to university, now I am married and have a little girl. I am happy.”
“These children are beautiful, they are beautiful… they are children like others… they are very beautiful, they are worthy of Rwanda…”
This song has become a hymn sung by Rwandan children in schools where since 1996, the teaching of genocide has been part of the school curriculum. But it took a generation for the country to be reconciled and live in peace, at least on the surface.
It is still time to rebuild for these women and young victims of the genocide. The “word that killed” is still as saving as ever. It has become a tool for educating the memory and transmission for the new generations. It also has the value of an example in the world for understanding and transmitting the history of the genocide.
In a few months, new words will be put online.
A big thank you to the association En Terre Indigène and Sevota for having supported this restitution booklet by organizing these workshops in Rwanda in July 2019 and March 2020.
Photograph © Chris Schwagga
Anne Pastor
